Patricia Roles, MSW, RSW
Stepparent Adoption Child Interviews
Counseling in Adoption Search and Reunion - Face to Face or Online Therapy
ABOUT PATRICIA ROLES: Credentials and CounselingExperience
Stepparent adoptions in British Columbiarequire an interview with your child if he or she is between ages 7 - 12 to obtain his or her views on the proposed adoption and name change.If your child is age 12 or older, he or she must consent to the adoption or name change. Registered social workers are qualified to provide these assessments for the court. If you live in the Vancouver and Lower Mainland area, then a face to face in home interview including the report can be provided at a fee of approximately $300 - $400 (Canadian) depending on the distance travelled to your home and the complexity of the situation requiring assessment. You can request this service by contacting me via email at: Child Interview Request Payments for Stepparent Adoption Child Interview and Report:
Payments can be made by cash, cheque or credit cards online through PayPal. Once the interview and report are completed, payment must be received prior to the report being released. You will be provided with the report directly. If you wish to pay online via credit card, click on the PayPal button below, and you fill in the payment amount on the PayPal form.
Online Support and Face-to-face Counseling in Adoption Search and Reunion
Adoption reunion between birthparents and adoptees is a complex situation that involves various losses. Although search and reunioncan feel like a positive process, it can evoke unresolved feelings of loss related to the adoption for adoptees and for birthmothers and birthfathers. Adoptive parentsmay also fear the loss of their adopted children. There are other losses involved in adoption reunionsuch as unmet expectations and disappointments, searching and finding that the other person does not want to make contact, or finding the individual has passed away. Adoption search and reunionis full of highs and lows, adjustments, new relationshipsand effects on current family relationships for everyone in the adoption circle. As a reunited birthmother, my experience has helped me to understand the process and to coach others via e-counseling through this personal journey. If you are considering search and reunion, e-therapy may be a helpful resourceas many individuals navigate this highly emotionalpath without much preparation.
Online Support for Birthparents
Adoption relinquishment not only affects young women when at the time of the adoption, but often many years later. Feelings and adjustments don't stop once adoption papers are signed. It is a lifelong process. Birthmothers and birthfathers, often think more about their child as times goes by and particularly as they reach other developmental life stages, such as marrying or having other children. Times of search and reunion re-kindle the feelings of loss. The child is now an adult, and no one can go back in time to recapture lost years. It can be a tough decision about whether to initiate a search or wait to see if the adopted adult searches. Search and reunion is emotionally draining and can have excitement too, like a roller coaster, when support may be really appreciated. Sometimes those who haven't been involved with this experience might not fully understand this process.
Adoptive parents often face losses such as infertility, miscarriage or stillbirth prior to deciding to adopt. Dealing with these losses can be overwhelming at a time when decisions often have to be made to enter into the adoption process as it takes time to receive a child through adoption. It can be a very tough time to face being evaluated as a parent through a home study and to write up a biography for prospective birthparents to make decisions by. It is a whole new experience and sometimes other family members are not fully supportive or believe that having a child through adoption is less than through birth. Sometimes adoptive parents need support when their adoptive child is struggling with identity issues during adolescence or during a search or reunion. Some adoptive parents feel left out of the reunion process. It is a complex process and affects all members of adoptive families.
Counseling for Adoptive Parents
Support for Adoptees Seeking Reunion
Individuals are adopted as infants or children and were not part of the decision of adoption. However, as adults they are the most affected by the adoption decision. Some adopted adults are more curious than others about their birth family, history and biological identity. Family relationships can be a challenge to adjust to sometimes with conflicting or confusing loyalties. Sometimes there is a big gap between what adoptees dream and wish for with birth families and what they find as reality. There are many stages with adoption reunion and lots of ups and downs when support and coaching can be helpful.
Articles on Birthparent Loss and Adoption Reunion Issues
Article written by Pat Roles on Birthparent Loss and Grief: Birth Parent Loss and Grief:
Article written by Pat Roles on
Adoption Reunion:Adoption Reunion - A Journey for Birthparents
How Do You Start an E-counseling Session?
To start an e-counseling session, you can click on the button below. This will take you to a page to choose your session type:
1) a regular session for $55 (US funds)
2) a package of 3 sessions for $180 (US funds.) Payment can be made with your credit card via Paypal.
Is Face-to-face Counseling an Option for You?
Face to face consultations are available in the Vancouver area and the Lower Mainland through Pat Roles' offices in Burnaby and Vancouver, B.C., Canada. In home visits are provided for child interviews required for
stepparent adoptions in British Columbia.You may inquire about face-to-face counseling or schedule an appointment with me via email. Evening and Saturday appointments are available. Hourly rate for face-to-face counseling is $120 Canadian funds payable by cash, cheque or credit cards via paypal.
Articles and Books on Teenage Pregnancy, Birthparent Loss and Grief and Pregnancy Loss
A new edition of this book is now in print - November 2005: Facing Teenage Pregnancy: A Handbook for the Pregnant Teen
Child Welfare League of America, Washington, DC, USA
Birthparent Loss and Grief
Saying Goodbye to a Baby: Vol 1 - The Birthparent's Guide to Loss and Grief in Adoption*
Publisher: Child Welfare League of America, Washington, DC, USA
Saying Goodbye to a Baby: Vol 2 - A Counselor's Guide to Birthparent Loss and Grief in Adoption
Publisher: Child Welfare League of America, Washington, DC, USA
Pregnancy and Infant Loss: Book Chapter - Birthparents' Grief: Relinquishing a Baby for Adoption
Chapter in textbook entitled: Loss During Pregnancy or in the Newborn Period: Principles of Care with Clinical Cases and Analyses, edited by
James R. Woods, MD and Jenifer L. Esposito Woods,MBA
Publisher: Jannetti Publications Inc., East Holly Avenue, Box 56, Pitman, NJ, USA,
Article on Stillborn Grief
by Joerg & Mary Barth: Stillborn but Welcome: The Short LIfe of Paul Michael
Patricia Roles, MSW, RSW, BCATR
Vancouver and Burnaby, British Columbia, Canada